Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Eclipse: Anyone?

 i wanna share my friend adam's review about the movie everyone's goin crazy about....

One hazard of having nothing to do is you can easily get persuaded into doing things, even those you don't like to do, lest you die of boredom. Like watching a 'Twilight' movie, for instance. I had no expectations going in, so I really can't say I was disappointed. But damn, that was two hours of my life I can never get back again! There were just a few questions that bothered me about the movie; hence, this post. As a non-fan, I'm not really looking for answers, so just treat these questions as rhetorical. Also, as a non-fan, I apologize to anyone who might get offended by my opinions about the movie. I just want you to know that the movie sucked. Big time. No offense, really.

1. Why is the movie called 'Eclipse' again? Did I miss a scene where there was an eclipse? 'Cause I'm pretty sure I didn't fall asleep even for a second (God knows I wanted to), although I did yawn for at least five times.

2. For crying out loud wolf-boy, wear a shirt! Not only was there a storm the entire night, it was also snowing the morning after, so WEAR. A. FREAKIN'. SHIRT. And why are all the wolf-boys always topless, yet that wolf-girl isn't? Methinks werewolves have a double standard.

3. So vampires can go out at daylight, even go to school with humans? And graduate! Good thing Edward didn't give the speech; that would have been campy. They also seem to have reflections... Hmmm... Interesting, interesting... I'd note it, if I weren't trying to erase the movie in my memory... I miss Buffy. She would have kicked ass in the movie.

4. Oh Bella, I don't get you either. You're one twisted lady, for someone who claims to be a virgin. You just got engaged and already you're kissing someone else? But yeah, you have an excuse, of course: you love Edward more! Sure, that works. Garampingat much? Just like my friend said: "Ang landi-landi ni Bella. Nagmumukha akong malinis." Hee.

5. Actually I don't get the entire plot. Seriously, that was it? Normally, when I don't get a movie's plot, I try to figure it out myself. Not this time, though. Don't really have time to care.

6. What's up with Dakota Fanning's character? Lakas mag-powertrip. Kawawa naman si Charice Pempengco. Wahehe.


7. I like that Alice chick. Not really a question. I just feel like I've already offended quite a few Twilight fans (Twihards?), so I'm just saying something I like about the movie. Hmm... what else?... Yup, just Alice.

I think the lesson here is this: When you really have nothing do, it is best to just do nothing. So 'Breaking Dawn', Adam? Eeeeh, pass. :D